Tuesday, November 23, 2021

betrayed

in the end its my fault

for believing

you could be something you're not

I had an idealized view

that sisters helped each other

supported each other

told secrets and truths

had each other's best interest

had each other's back

but it was a fantasy

I see that now

you are so busy pushing 

everyone away

so you get your way

get your money

you don't care who you hurt

throw tantrums

act like a child

mean spirited

rude and selfish

resentful and insecure and jealous

there is no love there

there never was

so no love lost

it's my fault

I see that now

for ever believing

in the fantasy

that you could be

a loving sister

(c)2021 by Catherine Elder

I didn't cry today

I didn't cry today

I held it in

held it back

I felt sad

a swelling inside

an ache

a fogginess

disconnected

restless

I couldn't settle

but I didn't cry

my heart aches

my lips and thoughts

pull downward

I felt sad

a bit lost

but I didn't cry

I didn't cry

... I lied

(c)2021 by Catherine Elder

Friday, November 19, 2021

How do I say a prayer?

Remind me

how do I say a prayer?

how do I ask to spare him

do I bargain?

do I plead?

beg?

we're not ready

this is too fast

too unfair

too cruel

stop

how do I say a prayer?

keep him safe

keep him well

let us have time

comfort him

don't let him be alone

don't let him be afraid

how do I say a prayer?

send him my love

wrap it around him

like a comforter

don't let any pain drafts in

hug him with love

tell him he is good

he is great

he'll get through this

how do I say a prayer?

please

by Catherine Elder (c) Nov 19, 2021

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Rainy night

the sky came down

to kiss the ground

and cry on her shoulder


the wind shook leaves

they danced and weaved

but couldn't hold her


(c)2021 Catherine Elder

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Reckoning

This is the time

it has to be now

to face our sins

apologize

realize

we need to heal

forgive each other

out of the corner of my eye

a polar bear swims for its life

the ice sheet has melted

the seals on the far shore

people still deny

indigenous children's ghost

brown skin can't breathe

the polar bear swims

extreme heat and forest fires

tornadoes and hurricanes

earthquakes and tsunamis

lies

and the polar bear swims



(c)2021 Catherine Elder

Monday, June 28, 2021

Our Children

 

They are not my children

they did not come from my womb

nor suckle at my breast

I did not watch as they lifted their head

as they crawled then walked

falling on their face

and getting up to put foot after foot

then faster to run and laugh in joy

I did not hold them when they cried

scraped knees and disappointments

nor when their stomaches rumbled

and the ridges of their ribs 

pushed against their tee shirts

I did not feed them

I did not put them to bed

I did not watch over them

They are not my children

so why do I cry

to know their small broken bodies

lay in unmarked graves

discarded, denied, disappeared

the patter of little feet

endlessly wandering

their cries in the wind

They are all our children

to love and nourish

to acknowledge and hear

to mourn and defend

to call to dinner and feed them good food

to ask about their day

and give them time to play

to name them and imagine their potential

Our children

(c)2021 by Catherine Elder

Children at residential schools


Monday, June 7, 2021

Bruised

Black, blue

look at you

Green, yellow, brown

Did you fall down?

You walked into a door, again

you must be in pain, again

There's only so many times bones break

only so much a soul can take

black, blue

green, yellow, brown

what are you going to do

when you get up off the ground

black and blue

what are you going to do


(c) 2021 by Catherine Elder


Monday, April 12, 2021

I can't stop the rain

 I can't stop the rain

don't look at me like that again

I won't make promises I can't keep

close your eyes

don't believe the lies

go to sleep


maybe the storm won't last

you can put it in the past

carry on and let go

then sun will shine

you'll say its fine

and make it so


(c)2021 Catherine Elder


Sunday, March 14, 2021

hide me

Today I'm feeling fragile

I want to peel off my skin

and hide myself

fetal position

unseen

I want to cover myself

in armour

and run from my thoughts

I want to sink into

the sofa and become it

my insides roil

flutter to my throat

pull the covers

to my chin

swim in amniotic fluid

float out of my worries


(c)2021 Catherine Elder


Wednesday, February 24, 2021

Inheritance

You were born in a pandemic

wildfires raging

hurricanes through the gulf

the hottest summer

the ice sheets melting

You will tell your grandchildren

that once there were white bears

that lived in the north

when there were icebergs

before the big melt

and there were major coastal cities

now underwater

once we had great reefs

but they were bleached

once we drank water

without microplastics

and we ate fish from the ocean

once there were rain forests

but we cut down the trees

for cattle so we could eat beef

and methane gas was produced



You can say you didn’t start the fire

unless your parents launched pytrotechics

to announce your gender

which started the wildfires in the U.S.

which destroyed 7000 acres

Drought then fire in Aus 

left Koala’s helpless

we said we didn’t start the fire

as we anticipated nuclear disaster

and then faced terrorism

as we learned about global warming

which we blamed on plastic water bottles

and this pandemic where people protested

wearing a mask to protect others

still racial dissension, inequality and suppression


we’ll leave you to solve the problems

with a few go fund me pages

and a social media campaign or two

maybe you can plant a tree

if you can find some land

that hasn’t been stripped mined

oil sands

maybe you’ll adopt diversity

so its a reality

not a catch phrase

corporate program to collaborate

maybe you’ll be international

without travelling the world

leaving dirty carbon footprints

and you can clean up the mess

that we didn’t create but added to

or not

maybe by your children’s children’s time

they will take a space ship

and leave this garbage planet

that we killed


(c)2021 by Catherine Elder