dream

I had a dream last night
it was so real
I could almost touch you
I could almost feel

You looked so happy
it made me smile
just like old times
though its been a while

other loved ones gathered
we were together again
and I hugged you
with bittersweet pain

I had to wake up
to realize it was a dream
I had been so happy
though I wondered where you'd been

(c) 2019 by Catherine Elder

Haikus...

Today, first snow fall
winter tires and clean parka
ready or not here

red leaf falling down
joining yellow, orange and brown
ground carpeted colours

wind blows in your face
crisp and cold in your layers
barren trees shaken

boots on crunchy earth
walk faster to get inside
silent slippered feet

crispy as an apple
the breeze becomes the north wind
fruit of the earth's breath

snow softly falling
painting the landscape bright white
a new page to write

puddle reflections
between seasons' discontent
making a big splash

darkness earlier
the sun tries to hibernate
moon working longer

like insults to face
ice pellets strike exposed
bow head and move on

Need to sneeze Haiku
I do not have the virus
please don't run away

By Catherine Elder

Into the woods

I’m going to go into the woods today

and call out to those we’ve lost

I’ll walk and call

until they come

out of the woods today

I’m going to go out on the river today

and call out to those we’ve lost

I’ll row and call

until they come

to the shore today

I’m going to go into the city today

and call out to those we’ve lost

I’ll drive and call

until they come

out on the streets today

wherever they went yesterday

I know that if I just call

they will hear me

and they’ll come

into my heart today

(c)2019 Catherine Elder
(inspired by Maeve)

Creativity

Creativity...
smells like fresh mown grass on a breezy summer day with blue, blue skies
or, in another frame of mind it smells like rain turning up the earth, piercing buds of growth to nurture them to come forth

tastes like chocolate, dark chocolate that is rich and smooth, sweet and bitter, complex and enjoyable, melting on your warm tongue

looks like  a rainbow and a kaleidoscope of colours in a prism reflecting in on itself - or is that too cliche? or, it looks like a blank page of possibilities, a curse for how to fill it, and a blessing providing the landscape to showcase your brilliance

sounds like a river flowing over rocks, sometimes rushing, sometimes stopping, sometimes crashing down to fall like thunder, or then like a trickle, a drip, an annoying drip, drip, drip that won't leave you alone until you do something about it

feels, it does. It has a life of its own. It feels hard yet joyous. Eager, like a naive child in innocence looking forward to the first day of school. Excited and sweaty palmed. Racing heart. Like freedom rushing through your whole body, electrifying you, and when it leaves, you're lost.

Creativity. It means so many things. It can be a compliment or an insult, depending on who is wielding the judgement.

By Catherine Elder

Go home and hug your loved ones

Personal injury on the tracks
shuttle busses
to move around the pain
thank you for coming
come back again

someone isn't going home
go home and hug your loved ones
someone didn't get hugged today

westbound busses upstairs
to take you over the loss
keep moving, keep moving
at all cost

an accident at track level
not an accident at all
someone thought it, planned it
before they took the fall

go home and hug your loved ones
be grateful for what you have
shuttle busses on the street
for the streaming crowd
hurry, hurry to get a seat
before hearing death sounds

is that a siren in the distance
an ambulance to pick up the shell
its already too late to help
life was tardy to meet hell

for the darkness pushed someone
over the edge, beyond the yellow line
it's been happening a lot of late
and for a long, long time

go home and hug your loved ones

(c)August 6, 2019 - suicide at Dundas St. W. subway
by Catherine Elder

what will become of you?

After you fail a test and feel like you're the stupidest person on earth.
How can you even continue to exist?
You can go no further if you've hit the wall of stupidity - judgement, as if it's a permanent condition that you can't recover from.
A disease that strikes you down and renders you useless for the rest of your life.
You lose all sense of ambition.
What is the point if you are just going to fail because you are not smart enough.
Others are smarter.
There is no wonder.
I'm saying what will become of you?
What they are really saying is - how do you even live?
How do you get dressed in the morning?
You are too stupid to live, to breathe.
If your body didn't breathe automatically you'd be dead.
What they mean is that they know what you'll become, its predetermined from one failed test.
You will have to do manual labour, work for someone who isn't smart but not as stupid as you.
You'll be told what to do for the rest of your life - every day.
There is no wonder.
They are willing to write your story and make you fit their dictate based on one failure.
It makes them feel superior and comfortable.
They stand in judgement. They look and shake their head in the negative, sadly, almost regretfully, as if they foresaw it but they waited for the marks as proof on a failed test.
Limiting you to a moment in time, pigeonhole, labeling, defining who you are and your whole future.
There is no wonder in who you'll become because you are, you are a failed test, the bad marks.
You are stupid.
Your future has now been ordained.
There is no wonder, only a limited future in which you become them.

By Catherine Elder